I’ve got a coupla things we could all use right now:
And really good news.
Here’s the good news: It’s almost mango season.
And here’s the really good news: It’s shaping up to be one of the best mango seasons ever.
That’s the word from deep sources in the mango world – my cousin Edith in Miami, who has four varieties of mangoes growing on a dozen backyard trees, and my own personal mango dealer on Merritt Island whose name will not be mentioned because I am greedy. I want all the mangoes I can get for myself. And he sells out every year before I can buy them all.
Both report the same thing:
“More fruit than I’ve ever seen before,” says Cousin Edith.
Says my dealer: “All of my trees have blossomed two even three times – the Keitts, the Tommy Atkins, the Hadens, the Alphonso, even the one I hybridized myself, I’m calling it the Imogene, after my grandmother. And a couple of ‘em, they’ve blossomed four times. Never seen anything like it. I’m praying for rain, but I’m praying it don’t rain hard. And if strong winds and hurricanes don’t come in early and blow off all the tiny fruit, then we’re gonna have fruit for a couple months longer than we might normally have it. Man, I’m telling you, it could be the best season we’ve had in forever.”
He went on a whole lot more than that. He’s crazy for mangoes. I listened to him for a good half hour at least. Because I’m crazy for mangoes, too.
Mangoes are peculiar trees. Some years they show off with lots of fruit blossoms. Other years they get all shy and bear hardly any.
What’s it mean?
The scientific explanation:
It was an unusually warm winter (Aren’t they all nowadays? I mean, NOAA is talking about extending hurricane season.) Plus some fruit trees are what’s known as “biennial bearing” and their buds are “pre-formed near the branch’s vortex” and if there’s too much fruit then they don’t get pre-formed correctly and less fruit comes in the next year, plus tons more scientific stuff that explains it if you want to look it up.
Of course, some folks believe trees can predict the future. They think:
Trees are sentient beings (although somewhat slow-moving and dimwitted) that use their fruit blossoms to tell us what lies down the road. Lots of fruit means: Eat up now, tough times ahead. Hardly any fruit means: Things have been good, but maybe you’ve overeaten and it’s time to cut back for a while.
I fall somewhere between the two camps.
I believe there’s a scientific explanation and the mango trees are telling us something.
They are telling us:
No matter what, good eating lies ahead.
Because here’s what I know for sure: Sometimes you get mangoes. Sometimes you get not-so-many mangoes. And sometimes you get the pits.
But that’s OK because they have mangoes dried, jarred or frozen at Publix, plus you can sometimes get one-day delivery on Amazon.
So who’s to complain? At least for now. Until whatever comes along next finally gets off its ass and brings it.
Besides, if you want to get all biblical about it, we were not meant to eat mangoes in the first place. And we are bound for hell because of them.
You want to know why mangoes are the most delicious fruit on earth? It’s because they are the original Forbidden Fruit. As mentioned in the Book of Genesis. The Tree of Knowledge? That was not just a mango tree. It was the mango tree. The original.
And God told Eve not to eat the mangoes off that tree, but she did it anyway. And she loved them. Who knows? Maybe Eve loved mangoes even more than I do. If that is even possible.
And Eve shared the mangoes with Adam. And Adam went all goo-goo over mangoes, too. Because who wouldn’t? I mean, at this very moment I’m thinking fresh mangoes over vanilla ice cream, maybe some mango margaritas, too. And mango bread, hot out of the oven with some cinnamon butter.
Anyway, God got angry, as He so often does (it’s not like He can take meds or go into therapy to control it or anything) and He looked down upon the naked, juice-sticky couple and boomed out in that loud and occasionally irritating voice of His: “Man, go!”
Sorry. Forgive me. Couldn’t resist.
See ya in hell.
And here’s to lots of mangoes for everyone.
Whatever lies down the road.